My Dirty Little Secret

Saturday, April 07, 2007 @ 10:19 PM

My particular dirty little secret isn't dirty at all; it's just a secret. A secret I keep in my great big magical closet filed under "not acceptable behavior". Something that society doesn't want talked about or seen out in the open. I'm speaking about my sexual desire for women that doesn't go along with my wife and mother image; or my religion.
But being a follower of Christ, this particular verse cries out to me:

"Do you still not perceive or understand? . . .
Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? (Mark 8:17-18)

What does it mean to be a Christian? Have you ever noticed that being "born again" gives religious conservatives the right to brag about and flaunt their religion? They want their religion and their Ten Commandments hung in every courthouse and schoolroom in America. And if there is one thing they hate more than abortion, it's homosexuality.

But they refuse to listen to the message of Jesus. Jesus rallied against the rich, the oppression system of his time, divorce, moneygrubbing, and hypocrisy. But I guess maybe homosexuality, the greatest evil of our and his time, sort of slipped his mind?

But for now, I've let my secret out for way too long; it must go back into that deep dark closet along with all the other things I have in there; that being a parent doesn't mean giving up being a sexual and loving human being, and a big part of me that I've already sacrificed for society. Oh, did I mention those clothes that don't fit me anymore? I'm gonna have to clean out that closet one day . . . if society would only let me.